Sunday, January 30, 2005

the view from here

some of the manhunt boys showed up in this season's af magazine, which meant of course, i had to get one. i probably would have picked up one anyways, cuz i love bruce weber's photography (who doesn't?). he makes even the most average person look impossibly beautiful. these guys didn't need any help tho. from left to rite, we have maurice, the stone-statue air filtration salesman, hunter, the closet boy from dequeen (he cried out of envy when rob talked so freely about his gayness), jon, the hot hapa winner of the competition, rob, the homo runner up, bruce, the model judge, and matt, who is still thoroughly cute. the four on the left were the final four, but matt was knocked out pretty early. of course, it looks like they've since realized their mistake and brot him back to smile at us. i hope we get to see more of him in the future. anyways, while we're talking about manhunt, jon now has a blog (via towleroad).

last week was the kick off for the new season of american idol. i don't like the music the eventual winners come out with, but i can't resist an opportunity to judge people. of course, new american idol means everyone's favorite host is back. here, he is in the midst of saying, "i'm so gay!" something new for this year are guest judges in the prelims, and for the premiere in dc, they had mark mcgrath, whom i used to think was really hot, but now not so much. didn't he used to be in a band or something? some of my early favorites from dc include the beautiful marlea and the hot b-boy travis (here's a closer shot of his hot b-boy smile). hopefully, they'll make it thru the prelims and we'll be able to see them sing live. but who am i kidding here? the real reason people watch the prelims is for the god awful delusional uglies who embarrass themselves on national television. the folks over at fox put the spotlight on crazy mary, who sang a lot like someone who was deaf would sing. not just because she was out of tune, but because she sounded like she didn't have a tongue. imagine marlee matlin singing. that's what it sounded like. and not only could she not sing, but her strange dance routine looked a lot like she was not in completely control of her body. it was a little frightening, but not quite as frightening as the rampaging crackhead jillian. i swear to god, i thot she was going to flip a table over or eat someone's head. it was so scary, i ran and hid behind the sofa, which is where i should have stayed for freaky aven's performance. i don't kno where they find these people, but he kept holding onto note after note after note, a truly what-the-fuck moment. however, the dc audition's big loser trophy definitely went to fugly melissa. i kid you not, she said these words: "oh, yes, this is me. i look like this every day and i love to always stand out. it may appear that i look like i have a lot of money, but you do not have to have a lot of money to look nice. you don't. and i think that's what separates me from a lot of the other younger ladies out there, cuz i'm still very classy and i also kno how to carry myself very well." i don't think i even have anything to add to that, so let's go on to the st. louis auditions. ryan found himself in front of another monument and shrugged, "why am i so gay?" i don't kno, ryan, but mebbe you could ask this queer or that queer. or the queer trio of cowboy, pinky and freshman. i think i watch this show just as much for the appearance of so many homos. represent! however, i miss the days when they looked like this, rather than this. speaking of the gay, cruise ship singer joe was both horrible and obnoxious (in that shot, he's whining and pleading with the judges. can you see his soul being crushed? i can). but idol isn't all about stomping on people's dreams. it's also about finding your soulmate. just ask these two, who love each other very much. anyways, enuf of the kind of people i thot i paid my cable company to keep off of tv. i just want to kno how i can get in touch with this guy. not only does he look good, he seems nice, seeing as he accompanied his mom to the audition. there was only one stand out in this episode, and her name was carrie. she was pretty and she had a pretty voice, which is good enuf for me. jeremy didn't get thru because he was way too showy, but he has a lot of potential and i hope he straightens it all out and tries again next year. and mebbe he should get a new singing teacher.

last week's episode of the amazing race will be forever known as the one where jon and victoria failed. i could hear the entire west coast cheering and i was cheering along with them. the contestants flew to ethiopia, which, according to kendra was "much better than dakar. it's a different kind of poverty. it's like these people choose to be this way. i think it's actually refreshing. the animals aren't even as skinny." when she referred to the animals, they showed a bunch of cows, but we all kno the horrible bitch was really referring to the ethiopians. then jon stripped down to his red undies and yelled at victoria after she cut her hand. one of the tasks was leading two donkeys to a farmer, and while doing so, aaron said to the camera, "i'm good at guiding asses" and pointed at hayden. aaron just gets better every week. jon and victoria took only one donkey instead of two, and delayed them enuf so that they came in last and were booted from the race. yay!

lost was interesting, because another polar bear showed up. can walt conjure up animals with his mind? and what does this have to do with everything else that's going on? we'll just have to watch and see. it ended with the appearance of claire, the pregnant girl, who may or may not be pregnant anymore. it was dark and she was wearing black, so you couldn't really tell, and we won't kno for a couple weeks, since they're on reruns again. grargh!

another great episode of the oc. would it not have been fun to be in this car? anyways, this time ryan forces his girlfriend to be friends with his ex, who then gets her drunk (clearly in an effort to take advantage of her), which makes ryan wet and angry. the most puzzling thing about this storyline is that they assume we all think that marissa is hot, which doesn't really work, cuz i don't. i also don't like how she dresses. actually, marissa can just go to hell. in other news, seth confronts alex about her female ex, which makes alex decide that she's not into girly guys after all and breaks it off with seth. summer feels the pressure of having been with zach for six months and runs away scared. luckily, zach smiles and everything goes back to good. the most important part of this episode tho, is we get to see how homos are made: step one... step two... step lesbians! i bet you didn't kno it was so easy!

yes, finally, the season premiere of the apprentice! who knew that college grads could be so incompetently irritating? everything from the "unbelievable!" and sitting around singing songs to the not knoing how to work a fucking soda fountain. are these people serious? todd was a horrible leader, danny was a compete lunatic, and erin was so stupid, she reminded me of paris hilton. thankfully, seattleites alex and verna didn't embarrass themselves much. on the other hand, i cannot stand tana, who was peed on by dogs (the animals, they kno things!), or brian, who swore up a shitstorm while they were eating with trump. i don't think you'll get the job by shouting "that's fuckin' awesome!" at your potential boss. anyways, it's still too early to say who might make it, but the net worth pm, john, did do a pretty good job. but let's get back to danny. what the hell? how did this guy get onto this show? i am seriously afraid of this guy. this is the kind of guy i walk across the street to avoid. when he kept shouting "unbelievable," i wanted to whack him across the head with his guitar. and what the hell is he wearing? where did he find those hideous outfits? "i mean, a circus in and of itself is rather dull." what? "i go into the boardroom every week with them, huge companies, big money. i connect with them on their marketing campaign. they come to me and my company's expertise. we have marketing technologies, brand new technologies, to help large companies promote their brands online." oh, i'm glad you cleared up what you did for a living. anyways, i really dislike this guy and hope he's taken down early (but not too early. gotta have some entertainment, you kno).

the oscar nominations were announced earlier this week, and i have to say i'm kinda disappointed. the best picture nominees are the aviator, finding neverland, million dollar baby, ray, and sideways. it was obvious the year's hugest epic and the year's most lauded movie were going to get nominated, and i can understand a nomination for ray, but i felt like finding neverland was relatively unremarkable, and million dollar baby just looks unappealing. what about eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, kill bill, tarnation, the incredibles? those were fantastic movies. well, at least eternal sunshine's kaufman (one of my favorite screenwriters) and incredibles' bird got best screenplay noms. and i'm pretty happy that neither fahrenheit 9/11 nor the passion of the christ got very much recognition. i still don't understand why michael moore thot he had a shot at a best picture nom. the movie just wasn't that great. i was also surprised closer didn't get best director or best adapted screenplay nods, tho it was nice that clive owen and natalie portman were nominated. even cooler than that, jamie foxx was nominated for best actor in ray and best supporting actor in collateral. leonardo dicaprio for best actor was completely expected, but alan alda for best supporting actor? he was a convincing asshole, but was it really that great a performance? i'm kinda saddened that house of flying daggers didn't sneak into the foreign language category, but at least it's in the running for cinematography. same goes for a very long engagement, which is also in the running for best art direction. okay, so at least this year, it'll be a more interesting show to watch. last year's was altogether too predictable. even tho i was happy with the wins, it didn't make for a very suspenseful awards show experience. but between now and then, i'll need to go watch some of the movies i haven't managed to watch yet. and i'm eagerly awaiting press reports from this year's sundance film festival. some really cool movies are always premiered there and hopefully one day i can visit and participate.

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