Monday, October 18, 2004

manhunt watch, week one

alrite. what took me so long? it turns out that i don't even HAVE bravo. how fucked up is that? anyways, i don't want to talk about it. it was a very traumatic experience, the discovery, and i just want to move on... move on to talking about men.

altho i can't say it's the best show in the world, there's enuf eye candy there that i don't even care. first, oh my god, there were originally 30? lemme see! no, no, no, jeff looks like a cutie (mebbe it's the hair and the necklace), no, no, no, no, no, and no. they could easily have replaced half of the main 20 with jeff. mebbe he's a nevermind, or mebbe he's not. let's get some higher res pics!

anyhow, a brief rundown on the models now that we've met them, so to speak:

hunter. "i've always wanted people to kno who hunter daniel was. that's been a dream of mine since i was four or five years old. since the day i took a breath on this earth, i knew i wanted to be a male model." i think that sums it up pretty good. he's very naive and... i don't want to call him stupid, cuz he has a nice body, but let's just say there are brighter bulbs in this basket. he has an absolutely adorable accent; i just wish the words that come with it were worth it. he still has a great body, which apparently, he's very proud of, since after he was refused entry into the bar, he peeled off his shirt for no reason at all (except to make me yelp and shout "mama like!"). oh well, who said a model needed to be smart?

paulo. don't care. they showed him a lot, but i can't remember anything he said. wait, is that that guy who used to be a 38 waist? oh well, whatever, he's not going to win anyways.

maurice. something about air filtration systems? what? i dunno.

brett. at age 31 and 6'6", i'd like to think of him as the giant geezer. he's married, has four kids, used to be a "mormon priest," and worked as a chippendales dancer (you kno, now that we're talking about chippendales, lemme just say that their website is a must see. my favorite? the hapa of course). he now works in real estate in vegas. okay, he may not have the looks (okay, okay, i admit, he has a hot-ass body), but i think he may be the most interesting of all the models. of course, he's also old and has a wife. *pbbbt*

sean. oh my god, i almost wet myself laughing when i heard him say this shit: "life's definitely easier for people who are good looking." how would you kno, sean!? have you looked in a mirror? you're a fucking inbred toad! i can't believe he wasn't one of the first 10 to be cut. of course, it wouldn't have been as funny had we not got a chance to hear him talk about how hot he thot he was. ha ha ha ha...

casey c.w. i seriously don't care. wait, was he the one who was afraid to jump out of the plane? pfft, yeah, don't care.

kevin p. i'm sorry. you are not as hot as you think you are. in fact, you're weird-looking. but he does take advantage of the free clothes. gotta give props to the sneaky motherfuckers, even if said mofos make the other guys jealous (not cuz he looks any good, but cuz he was smart enuf to buy on bravo's dime). all in all, don't like the asshole, but there's gotta be the one to hate. of course, there is that other kevin too...

ron. he's gay, and i'm sure the only one... don't like his hair, but, and this may because i'm a biased bitch, i think he's pretty cool. he's not ugly, but i don't think he'll win. i'll still be rooting for him tho... for now anyways.

seth. a virgin who believes god wants him to be a virgin, and who are his role models? usher, justin timberlake, and jesus. i don't like his look. it's too ck heroin chic. he did something really weird and stupid during this episode, but i don't remember what, and i don't care enuf to find out.

jason. don't really care. i just think it's funny he keeps talking about how he's doing things that women usually do, like wear makeup. what century is he living in? all guys wear makeup... rite? anyways, he's only important cuz we get to see blake dressing him.

jon. OH MY GOD SO HOT. if he isn't the mole, he should be. this guy is like... THE hottest guy of them all. i really can't get enuf of him, and i kno he'll make it far. he's also not an asshole, which is such a plus. i'm throwing all my support his way. go, jon, go!

micah. what a tool! he wouldn't go down on a guy to advance himself? did i hear that correctly? did i get his meaning correctly? whatever, he was eliminated, let's all move on.

blake. totally hot. like i thot, he says he had been slacking on body upkeep. bruce told him he was a little pear-shaped, and he said, "what i learned from bruce is that if i become successful, i don't want to be a cocky asshole." i love it! love it, love it, love it! i have to say tho, in some of those camera angles, i can definitely see where bruce is coming from. he has a carmen electra poster in his room? me too! we should be best friends forever.

john. what a bitch! some mouth on this guy. i can't wait to see him week after week. some girls tried to talk to him while they were picking out stuff to wear at ax and he "was like, whatever, get out of my face, like, i'm here to shop." ba ha ha ha ha! it's great! and not only is he a huge bitch, he's the only one that seems really driven. he does have very striking eyes, but i'll be watching him for his attitude.

kevin o. hideous! HIDEOUS! actually, he reminds me of john kerry. like i said, hideous! he's ugly and he thinks he's so funny. i may want to keep him around just to hate him and watch the men around him laugh nervously when he cracks a "joke." i think the only reason he wasn't immediately eliminated was so that he could make a fool of himself. great!

tate. something about him loving his son more than his girlfriend, i dunno. next!

brian. his golden quote trumps hunter's one about dreaming to be a model since he was a little kid. models, he says, are "allowed to be very decent...or good-looking as well as very the head." yes, they are, brian. unfortunately, you're not one of the head. not only does he win the golden quote award for episode one, but he also wins most deluded loser. i'm glad he was cut cuz he's stupid and not hot at all, but i'm also sad that we won't be able to bathe in his intellect anymore.

rob. is it me, or does he look like he's always wearing makeup? he went on and on about kevin buying a ton of clothes. do i smell a rat? if he's gonna complain about all the other guys behind their backs every week, then by all means, keep him on.

casey h.w. poor casey. poor poor casey. this boy from arkansas (actually, who wasn't from arkansas?) was one of the first to be cut and didn't even get to skydive in his underwear. he was the last of my top five picks and already cut from the show. boo hoo. i'm a little sad, but i'm confident that jon, blake, matt and hunter will be more than enuf to keep me watching (unlike the unfortunate fate of john from apprentice... i'm still weeping over that and may never tell anyone they're fired ever again). anyways, he had a good head on him and i wish him well in all his endeavors.

matt. adorable! completely adorable! so cute! not only was he by far the cutest guy there, he had one of the best personalities that i saw. he was funny ("dis iz my life, my loox!") and friendly and all-around very nice. they showed him a fair amount and for this i was glad. he may not be the greatest candidate for being america's most gorgeous male model, but i would definitely want a guy just like him. oh, and omigawd that smile! *swoon* okay, enuf, what am i? a little girl? (yes...)

to assess my previous assessments, i mistook blake to be vacuous. he was actually much more articulate than i thot he would be from reading his bio. and i take back what i said about matt being forgettable! i will remember him forever! and i actually do hope he gets into acting. i'll watch him in anything.

so what happened in this episode? not a whole lot. there was a drunk girl falling over, which was funny, but i'm not here to watch women. please! i was happy that many of my own opinions and concerns concerning my men were mostly reaffirmed by bruce, which goes to show, i could totally be a judge on manhunt! i kno it's too late for this one, but CALL ME UP for the next one (oh god i hope there is a next one). i kno you kno my number, bruce and carmen. anyways, i'm excited for the next one. with four guys no longer in the running, we can focus more time with my four. here's to hoping they don't let me down!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

the overall

it's situations like this that make me wonder if perhaps there really is a grand design to the world. consider it.

after an absolutely exhausting dream (don't ask me what it was about, i don't remember), i woke up more tired than before i went to sleep. what the fuck is that about? anyways, going into my 2-hour class, i was already sleepy. the professor talked for 30 minutes about how we might write our paper by going thru one of the readings and listing things that we could use as evidence. that almost threw me over the edge of slumber. then, the last half of class was spent in student-led discussion groups. what a horrible idea. the girl leading the group i was in didn't understand the material, didn't kno how to lead a discussion, and wasted an hour of my time. completely useless. i'm already a little irked rite now and i want to take a nap. but i can't. i have to go up to scarecrow to run an errand. i really don't feel like walking, so i think, oh, i can just take the bus. but no, i didn't bring my wallet out with me cuz i didn't think i'd need it. great. so i continue walking up the ave. i stop at bartell's to get some staples, but no, without a wallet, i have no money. how did i forget that in the course of 5 blocks? i shake my head and continue up the ave. i get to scarecrow, and what do you kno, it's fucking closed. what makes it even worse is that i remember reading about how it was going to be closed today. what a fucking day this is turning out to be. even the sun wasn't enuf to cheer me up.

today's survivor was okay. true-to-form this season, it was... not all that exciting, despite the volcano erupting. i got excited when i saw that the tribes would be shuffled, but after they did, nothing came out of it. you still knew who was going to be voted off, and they barely showed the new dynamics. okay, mebbe they did show the dynamics; it just wasn't all that interesting. i guess all in all it was a good episode tho, since john is no longer the definite next-one-to-go. apprentice was much worse. how do you expect a group of straight men to do women's fashion? what a blatant kick in the collective groin of mosaic. of course, i wasn't completely convinced the men would lose this one when they revealed the task. the women of apex are just that incompetent. however, when trump did a talk about "knowing the market," that really cinched it. the guys don't kno the market, and so they're going to lose. this caused me distress because john was the randomly-picked project manager. john was going to have to fite to stay in the game. well, long story short, john was fired, after the men lost by over $10000. stupid fucking god damn it. that's all i have to say. there'll be crying into my pillow tonite. lost. what the fuck? huh? he can move his legs now? i love this show! throw more shit in my face, please!

i don't think i could have been any pissier after leaving scarecrow. i was just waiting for the next moment to send me into a rampage. ah, but that wasn't what the cosmos had in mind. no way, no how. what way do i head back? should i go down roosevelt? that might have been the quickest way, but i don't think i was thinking very well at the time. no, for whatever reason, i think brooklyn would be my best bet. after i pass cedar's, i see that someone has come out of kyoto teriyaki, the ugly little yellow japanese restaurant across the street from safeway. it's a tall blonde. *swoon* what a way to turn my mood absolutely around. unfortunately, he was with a friend of his (a short guy) and they looked busy, so i wasn't able to talk to him. yeah, that's exactly the reason.

i thot it might be fun to read some bloggish stuff that i wrote nearly five years ago. look how much i've changed:

what i need to do is find a guy. i'm serious. i need something to keep me occupied so that i can stop dreaming about straight guys. (12.12.1999)

and of course this little tidbit:

i feel like a giddy school girl lost in some sort of emotional trap. (01.10.2000)

and lastly (for now):

i need a guy. i keep thinking about it. i really do. (02.06.2000)

great stuff.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

sugar pie excitement

survivor. poor brady! the hottie fbi agent was voted off. WHY? WHY!?! i'll tell you why! those god damned old guys are fucking everything up. but i can't say it was all their fault that all the younger guys are getting booted. why didn't the younger guys reach out to the older guys in the beginning? i kno they're all ugly and/or legless, but we're talking about a million dollars here! i'm not actually that concerned about the weakening of the men's team. besides john, i don't think i really care for any of the rest of the guys (okay, chad is so far acceptable. a little too acceptable, actually...). if john gets booted, i'm rooting for the hot lesbian barista. it looks like next week there'll be a twist and they'll shuffle the tribes. i think i heard jeff telling them to drop their buffs. hopefully, hopefully, hopefully. i'm crossing my fingers for my john.

apprentice. poor pamela! the gigantor amazon woman was voted off. she was probably the most qualified of all the women and trump gives her the cobra. i think i'm pretty sure that donald doesn't want to give the job to a woman. for the first time in a while, the women didn't completely fuck up, and i'm pretty sure a lot of it had to do with pamela's iron fist fascism. i loved seeing her tell stacy to shut up cuz that stacy's a bitch (which one of them isn't?). she went into a situation where no three girls got along, girls she hadn't ever worked with, mind you, and she got them up to what i also think was as close to a tie as you could get. $10? i mean, come on. had they sold one more unit they would have won it. well, don't get me wrong. i didn't want her to win the thing (no, that's for john); i just thot that it definitely wasn't her time. also, i hate maria.

nip/tuck. BEST. EPISODE. EVER. OH MY GOD. so many secrets and twists revealed, i loved it, absolutely loved it. ava, a man! *gawk* adrian, suicide! *gasp* carver at christian's place! *ahmigawd* liz is back! *yay* joan rivers is fucking weird looking and alec baldwin did a great job. this is exactly the kind of episode that we needed to make us craving more. of course, after two seasons, i think we kno that no one really ever leaves the show. i fully expect ava to come back sometime next season, and i can't wait. that famke's a hottie. i think we need more episodes written and directed by ryan murphy. and i seriously hope he doesn't leave the show. it would go way downhill and i dunno if i could continue watching it. well, forget all that, i can't wait til the first episode of the third season. i gotta kno how it's gonna resolve itself (if it does).

i tried to watch life as we know it, but i honestly couldn't get past the first five minutes. could anything be more painful to watch? i don't think so. i can't stand the guys, tho one or two of them are doable (in other contexts). i hate their look and their hair. aren't they supposed to be three different kinds of guy that are friends? i couldn't tell them apart. they could have gotten those cingular triplets as far as i'm concerned. the show was touted as more "true-to-life" than its counterparts like ye olde dawson's creek or supercool the oc, but it just felt so fake and been-done that i almost threw up. i mean, really. "they say boys think about sex every 15 minutes. well, i probably think about it every 5." how many other shows was that ripped from? "i want to be her first, cuz it's something they can't ever take away." uhm, i think that exact line is from kids, which came out, what, a decade ago? can we please stop rehashing the same shit over and over again not even in different packaging, it looked like a whole lot of other "i'm-trying-to-be-cool" teen shows. well, i dunno why i'm ranting anyways. i'm sure the show wasn't made for jaded old fucks like me, so what do i care, really? it did do something good tho. it reminded me that i can't wait til the oc comes back in november! ba ha ha ha ha... (speaking of the oc, uhm... have you seen the previews? nick gonzalez: hoooooot...! but he's like my sister's age, so... do i see another "oh my god my mom and i have slept with the same guy" moment for marissa? i hope so.)

desperate housewives's second episode was enjoyable, but not as good as the first episode promised it would be. yes, we got to see jesse's ass, but... fine, it was totally worth it, even if the rest of the episode was only okay.

is this going to be a whole entry on television? yes. cuz i don't feel like talking about school (nothing really to note, actually), and there were no remarkable boys. i'm pretty much unimpressed with all the boys in my classes. oh, sigh. hopefully, the other half of the week will be more exciting.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

procrastination addendum

casey. okay, so i forgot to mention him. why? well, to tell you the truth, he's not terribly remarkable. it wasn't until a second look of all the men (most of which definitely didn't need or deserve a second look) that i saw casey and thot, "hmmm... yeah, given the chance, i wouldn't turn it down." he's a strange mixture of cute and hot that beckons to me. i hear your call, casey. ima comin'! will he win it? i don't think so. but that doesn't mean he doesn't have a chance. i can't say i've seen many models out there that looked like him. i do like that necklace tho. mebbe he could just model necklaces. at any rate, it'll be fun to watch him every week.

this week was a good week for boys of the past. i chanced by a lot of the old favorites, like elf, monkey, takeshi, leif, and mean-looking guy. they all pretty much looked the same since i had seen them last. elf was still tall, tho his hair was shorter than before. monkey was still monkey, but he didn't have his glasses on and his hair was longer than it used to be. takeshi was still dressed uniquely, leif was still dressed like a gay econ grad student, and mean-looking guy... well, he was still mean-looking. it was nice to see them, but it reminded me that i don't have that many new boys to ogle. well, besides simon from last year. speaking of whom, i spotted him walking up the ave today (what is it? thursday?) as i was waiting for someone who might have seen him had she not been late. everything was the same except he was wearing a gray track jacket and was listening to music. too bad, cuz i wanted to shout "hey simon!" yeah... really.

i would like to be paid in hot boys from now on, yes please thank you.

how about that vice presidential debate? some people say cheney (that evil cold-blooded motherfucker) won, and some people say that edwards (is he not the most adorable running mate ever?) did. who do i think won? i don't kno! i'm still waiting for the media to tell me what to think!

i'm terribly cross with lost this week. just as kate beckinsale was about to reveal why she was being brot back to the states in cuffs, dr. party-of-five tells her that he DOESN'T WANT TO KNO. WHAT? we spent the entire episode heading in that direction and rite when i thot i was going to be rewarded for my remarkable patience, they do this to me! why torture me, abrams? WHY? and what was with that ominous-music-et-creepy-shot of the backgammon dude? you're killing me!

taegukgi may be the most depressing movie i've seen this year. it was pretty well made with perhaps too-realistic battle scenes and an above average story of two brothers caught up in a civil war. everyone i've talked to who've seen it all say that they cried thru the whole thing, and i can't blame them. it was fucking sad. anyways, i'd recommend it to people strong of heart and strong of stomach, but you aren't, you're really not missing anything that hasn't been done before. of course, why anyone would ever pass up an opportunity to watch won bin for two and a half hours is beyond me.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

man, oh, man

THE MANHUNT WEBSITE IS UP! i seriously don't think anything better could plausibly have happened this week. what? i'm not excited at all. i don't kno what you're talking about. anyways, you can check out the men for yourself, but i wanted to point out a... several that i wouldn't mind finding in my bed someday...

blake. first of all, i love that name. his body doesn't really impress me all that much, but i do like that head. he's got strong features that really go very well together. the hair is very nice, and while i don't mind the stubble, i think he would look better without it. he definitely looks like he could be a model (and indeed, according to his bio, he's done modeling in europe). he went to a music academy and "studied singing, drama, musical theatre and dance." you make out of that what you will. i'm certainly not going to suggest anything. he sounds like he's had an interesting life, but he's only 21. he doesn't sound that smart, but no one's asking him to do brain surgery or anything. he just has to look pretty. final verdict: striking (in a good way) and could definitely make it.

hunter. i like that name too. this one is kinda the opposite of blake. his face is ho-hum (but by no means is he ugs like SOME of the manhunt models), but i like that body. it inspires an urge to feel him all over. plus, those pants look like they just need a slight tug... i don't think i'm too fond of his hair. i don't think he'd look that much better with shorter hair, but i'm pretty sure it would improve the head area. he doesn't look so much like a model, at least not like one of the top models, but you never kno. he could definitely do some af tho. his bio makes him sound like some all-american hunk... which i'm sure he is. small town, sports whiz, et cetera et cetera et cetera. some cracks in that life story wouldn't make him a better model, but at least it would make him more unstable and drama-prone, and thus more entertaining to watch. actually, who cares? he's already fun to watch. final verdict: hot, but that's not all that it takes to be a model.

matt. matt's a cutie, but that body's not going to make the cut. it's not bad, per se, but it looks like he couldn't find the gym. he's gonna have to shape that up if he hopes to be a hopeful. his face is definitely an asset and is completely kissable, but he looks like he's 18! which isn't a particularly bad thing, but i don't kno if i could see him representing prada or lv. as far as i'm concerned, he's another one for af, or actually, mebbe hollister. he's an aspiring actor (who isn't?) who's currently a batboy for the braves. i dunno about his acting skills, but i think i could see him playing a cutie in some teen movie, or showing up on the wb in some shape or form. not as a lead, mind you; he doesn't really stand out to me enuf for that. final verdict: cute, but forgettable.

jon. an icelandic hottie surfer. does it get any better than that? his hair is too long, but it's so modelesque. i kno he'd look better with shorter hair (unless he's hiding hideously deformed ears), but he doesn't look bad like this. he is a surfer after all. his bio makes him sound like a dork, which is actually kinda endearing. he wants to be an astronaut and that's so hot. his soulmate got into a near-fatal car accident and he stuck by her thru all the hard times. that's so sweet. that bitch is one lucky girl. unfortunately, endearing, smart and sweet don't make a model. final verdict: he's definitely a contender.

of course that's only a fifth of the models. how disappointing that out of twenty, i could only find four that i liked. it makes sense tho, since that's about the ratio that i find when i'm flipping thru homme arena+. that isn't to say all the other ones are ugly. some of them are definitely in the running to win. others... i dunno why they were cast. well, mebbe they'll make some drama that will make their presence worthwhile. we'll just have to wait and see. are you as excited as me?

survivor was fun, but the twist was not as interesting as i'm sure the producers wanted it to be. it was fun to see all the fighting, but neither ejection was a surprise. gimme some shock, guys! come on! at least we got more john k. time.

just as i was talking about how there's a guy in one of my classes who looks like bradley cooper, he shows up on jack & bobby. i hope he's gonna be a constant recurring character, cuz i like me some more bradley.