the overall

it's situations like this that make me wonder if perhaps there really is a grand design to the world. consider it.

after an absolutely exhausting dream (don't ask me what it was about, i don't remember), i woke up more tired than before i went to sleep. what the fuck is that about? anyways, going into my 2-hour class, i was already sleepy. the professor talked for 30 minutes about how we might write our paper by going thru one of the readings and listing things that we could use as evidence. that almost threw me over the edge of slumber. then, the last half of class was spent in student-led discussion groups. what a horrible idea. the girl leading the group i was in didn't understand the material, didn't kno how to lead a discussion, and wasted an hour of my time. completely useless. i'm already a little irked rite now and i want to take a nap. but i can't. i have to go up to scarecrow to run an errand. i really don't feel like walking, so i think, oh, i can just take the bus. but no, i didn't bring my wallet out with me cuz i didn't think i'd need it. great. so i continue walking up the ave. i stop at bartell's to get some staples, but no, without a wallet, i have no money. how did i forget that in the course of 5 blocks? i shake my head and continue up the ave. i get to scarecrow, and what do you kno, it's fucking closed. what makes it even worse is that i remember reading about how it was going to be closed today. what a fucking day this is turning out to be. even the sun wasn't enuf to cheer me up.

today's survivor was okay. true-to-form this season, it was... not all that exciting, despite the volcano erupting. i got excited when i saw that the tribes would be shuffled, but after they did, nothing came out of it. you still knew who was going to be voted off, and they barely showed the new dynamics. okay, mebbe they did show the dynamics; it just wasn't all that interesting. i guess all in all it was a good episode tho, since john is no longer the definite next-one-to-go. apprentice was much worse. how do you expect a group of straight men to do women's fashion? what a blatant kick in the collective groin of mosaic. of course, i wasn't completely convinced the men would lose this one when they revealed the task. the women of apex are just that incompetent. however, when trump did a talk about "knowing the market," that really cinched it. the guys don't kno the market, and so they're going to lose. this caused me distress because john was the randomly-picked project manager. john was going to have to fite to stay in the game. well, long story short, john was fired, after the men lost by over $10000. stupid fucking god damn it. that's all i have to say. there'll be crying into my pillow tonite. lost. what the fuck? huh? he can move his legs now? i love this show! throw more shit in my face, please!

i don't think i could have been any pissier after leaving scarecrow. i was just waiting for the next moment to send me into a rampage. ah, but that wasn't what the cosmos had in mind. no way, no how. what way do i head back? should i go down roosevelt? that might have been the quickest way, but i don't think i was thinking very well at the time. no, for whatever reason, i think brooklyn would be my best bet. after i pass cedar's, i see that someone has come out of kyoto teriyaki, the ugly little yellow japanese restaurant across the street from safeway. it's a tall blonde. *swoon* what a way to turn my mood absolutely around. unfortunately, he was with a friend of his (a short guy) and they looked busy, so i wasn't able to talk to him. yeah, that's exactly the reason.

i thot it might be fun to read some bloggish stuff that i wrote nearly five years ago. look how much i've changed:

what i need to do is find a guy. i'm serious. i need something to keep me occupied so that i can stop dreaming about straight guys. (12.12.1999)

and of course this little tidbit:

i feel like a giddy school girl lost in some sort of emotional trap. (01.10.2000)

and lastly (for now):

i need a guy. i keep thinking about it. i really do. (02.06.2000)

great stuff.