Friday, August 31, 2007

kiwis and missed opportunities

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So a friend and I got on the bus downtown. As we're sitting and watching the other people get on as well, I noticed three guys get on the bus together, one of which was really, really hot. To my luck, he stood right in front of where I was sitting, and I thought to myself, "Oh how nice, I'll get to look at his ass all the way home." I text "hot" on my phone and show it to my friend to notify him of the guy, in case he hadn't seen him. He agreed. Unfortunately, at the next stop, the hot ass moved a little to the back because of more people getting on the bus, and it was no longer in my face. Oh well.

On the ride back I'm chatting with my friend about something, when we're approached by one of the guys who was not the hot one (this one was not bad, but the other one was really hot). He asked us with his New Zealand accent, "We're new in town. What sorts of bars or clubs are good around here?" I looked at my friend and gave him the eye that meant, "Do you think he's asking what I think he's asking?" Not quite sure I was getting the subtext right, I prompted the guy for clarification: "Well, it depends on what kinds of bars you're looking for." He then clarified it for me by replying, "Probably the kinds of bars that you go to." Ah! Yes, you are asking me where the gays go. You found the right person! I give him a short rundown of the places I go and the places that exist but that I don't frequent.

After this, I'm thinking in my head, "OMGZ, is the hot guy into guys too? He must be! Right? RIGHT?" And my friend and I converse with the one that approached us for the length of the bus ride, while the other guys say a few things here and there. They're from New Zealand, they're on a road trip, their car broke down so they'll be in Seattle for a few days... When we got to our stop, we had to cut the conversation short. "This is our stop. It was nice talking you," I said. "Have fun in Seattle." My friend and I got off the bus, and that was that.

Now, did you notice anything missing from that narrative? Yes, that's right. I let the opportunity pass without asking for digits or any sort of contact info so that I could perhaps "show them around." This is the problem with me. I have trouble, A, showing interest, and therefore B, asking people for their numbers. As a result, I'm sitting here writing this, instead of, at the very least, checking out the hot guy's ass again. I can't let this shit happen anymore! I need to think of this regretfully missed opportunity every time this sort of situation comes up, and remember how stupid I felt afterwards, in the hopes that it will spur me into not being such a chickenshit dumbass. No more fear, no more regrets! Or at least less of them... Baby steps...

By the way, Flight of the Conchords is hilarious, though I will acknowledge it isn't for everyone. Search them on YouTube and give them a try to find out if they are for you. Bret is definitely for me.

Sunday, August 19, 2007

the crush

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So while we're talking about high school, I was eating dinner at a restaurant with my family when in walks someone who looked familiar. Oh my god! It was the guy I had a crush on through much of high school. I haven't seen him since we all graduated, seven fucking years ago, but he looks great. Still. My immediate reaction (the same that I have when I see anyone I know, friend or foe) is to run away to avoid the inevitable stop-and-chat. Except I'm eating and I can't. So I spend the whole meal wondering how I can avoid an awkward situation when we have to leave. Though what's really stupid and a little weird is that I can't help but fall back into the mindset I had when I was in high school. I have to say "hi" at least, right? How can I do it so I don't look like an idiot? Do I look good right now? I wonder if he'll remember me, it's been so long... I am sitting, eating dinner and I'm getting butterflies in my stomach, as if I was 16 again. This is fucking ridiculous! Anyways, when we left, I said "hi" really quick and left before any awkward conversation could be had, but afterwards I couldn't help but want to talk to him more to see what he was up to now. But I think it was better that I didn't, because at least this way I didn't trip up and make him hate me... Yeah, when it comes down to it, high school never left me. It's just hiding in my head waiting for the moment to reemerge and make me feel like a kid once more.

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

he even uses "quagmire"

Let's give this guy a cookie, whoever he is! He's got more sense than anyone in this administration! Oh, wait...

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

zac alert

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Oh no! This is my current desktop.