Sunday, August 19, 2007

the crush

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So while we're talking about high school, I was eating dinner at a restaurant with my family when in walks someone who looked familiar. Oh my god! It was the guy I had a crush on through much of high school. I haven't seen him since we all graduated, seven fucking years ago, but he looks great. Still. My immediate reaction (the same that I have when I see anyone I know, friend or foe) is to run away to avoid the inevitable stop-and-chat. Except I'm eating and I can't. So I spend the whole meal wondering how I can avoid an awkward situation when we have to leave. Though what's really stupid and a little weird is that I can't help but fall back into the mindset I had when I was in high school. I have to say "hi" at least, right? How can I do it so I don't look like an idiot? Do I look good right now? I wonder if he'll remember me, it's been so long... I am sitting, eating dinner and I'm getting butterflies in my stomach, as if I was 16 again. This is fucking ridiculous! Anyways, when we left, I said "hi" really quick and left before any awkward conversation could be had, but afterwards I couldn't help but want to talk to him more to see what he was up to now. But I think it was better that I didn't, because at least this way I didn't trip up and make him hate me... Yeah, when it comes down to it, high school never left me. It's just hiding in my head waiting for the moment to reemerge and make me feel like a kid once more.

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