Tuesday, January 18, 2005

mediawhores have all the fun

it's beautiful, ain't it? go to the site and look at the bigger version of it. it's simply amazing (via tottyland).

oh my god, i hate it when school gets in the way of my television watching (and subsequent writing)! last last week's amazing race was fantastic. it was a continuation of the previous episode, which left us hanging as to whether or not lori and bolo would even still be in competition. of course, i think it would have been silly to think such a thing, since we all kno the all-powerful phil keoghan can use his powers to force trains to run at 3 am. other points of interest in this episode (i mean, besides rebecca saying that she was over the whiny, queeny adam, and jonathan yelling the shit out of victoria): a heavy starting gate accidentally coming down on the heads of the some of the competitors. freddy took this opportunity to freak out at the others because of some weird paranoia, threatening with these gems: "when i find out who pulled the gate down, it's somebody's ass!" and my favorite, "one of you i'm going to break in half!" but that wasn't freddy's only hilite. wait, before we get to that, let's check out some pics of jon-in-speedo: from the front... and from the back (yes, i would like some crack, thanks). anyways, one of the tasks was drinking 24 oz of red red hot hungarian soup. everyone was throwing it up as they tried to slurp it down with a tiny spoon, but freddy was the only one who managed to throw it back up into his bowl. yes, that meant that he needed to slurp an additional mixture of spit, mucus and whatever had been in his stomach at the time. ew. but i really didn't feel bad for him, cuz he threatened to break me in half. yikes! in the end, gus and hera lost, which is too bad, cuz i liked that team. but oh well, there are still plenty of teams left that could beat jonathan and victoria, so it's okay. as for this past week's episode, not a whole lot happened, but it was still fun to watch. bitch boy adam failed to sink into the water because he was whining too much to be able to move his head side-to-side while doing the second of two fast forwards (the other one happened in the last episode, where lori and bolo drank a goblet of pig's blood each). i still don't get why they only have two fast forwards now. it seems like the fast forward is just an alternate task that the first team that comes upon it does. oh well, what can you do? anyhow, adam finished the fast forward eventually, which was quite the triumph for him. good for you! jonathan yelled some more at victoria, and that brings us to... a non-elimination leg in which hayden and aaron came in last. personally, i hope jonathan falls to his death in the next episode, but if you can't get enuf of him, you can go to his and victoria's website and roll around in it.

oh my god lost! last last week's, the one about kate's past was okay, but it really didn't reveal anything horribly interesting... big whoop, she's killed before. who on the island hasn't? that's my question. if you think about it, jin came home covered in blood in the korean flashback, dr. jack has probably killed a bunch of people on the operating table, and sayid used to be in the army. also, it was pretty obvious that what kate was looking for in the case was just going to be something that reminded her of someone or something. they really didn't need to drag that on, since i was largely uninterested in it. (hi, who's this?) the really great part of this episode tho was shannon's singing at the end. i dunno whose voice that was, but i'd totally buy a single of whomever that was singing the french version of "beyond the sea." beautiful. the next episode was more entertaining, even tho again, it was pretty obvious that the whole sequence between boone and shannon in the forest was a figment of his imagination. i think i might have just watched too much tv to have been fooled. it was fun to watch her being carried off by the monster tho. also, hottest near-incest scene in primetime this year. it's oh so wrong, but oh so rite at the same time. i could only get an image of the prologue to the scene, because most of the actual face-sucking is conducted in utter darkness. i was happy that they finally had a boone/shannon flashback, and it certainly didn't disappoint. i love the rich and beautiful. by the way, they seem to really not care very much about the pregnant girl anymore. and i really don't buy the whole "we lost track" thing. it's a fucking island, guys. care a little!

the oc: last last week was all about seth cohen: adorable! adorabler! and i want that t-shirt (go out and find it for me! urban, perhaps?)! last week saw some fun as well. sandy forgetting his 20th anniversary, summer looking stupid in front of zach's mom and sister, sandy catching seth climbing out and kirsten catching ryan and lindsay mid-undress, yard guy finally figuring out why marissa's with him and dumping her ass. great episode. i also came to the realization that while i love alex and think she's so hot, there's not a whole lot to her. i feel like we see her so often and yet i still don't really kno her. but mebbe that's just how she is! yeah, we'll pretend it's that. and finally, i still love you, zach, even if you didn't kno where kuala lumpur was (and summer, i love you even more now).

and that brings us to the new cast of survivor: palau! again, i'm too lazy to read their bios rite now (it's silly to analyze that sort of thing before you see them interacting with each other anyway), but let's take a quick look at some of the new contestants. first of all, we have a fag and his name is coby. if you couldn't tell from that picture that he was gay, then look at this one. still unconvinced? then let's see... he credits his mother for making him the man he is today, went to beauty school and co-owns a hair salon (uhm, mebbe that shit'll fly in athens, tx, but i would never let this bitch touch my hair) with his best friend (a girl, most likely his faghag), enjoys traveling, photography, museums, painting, acting, and "anything artistic." if this guy's not gay, then no one is. angie the bartender from new orleans looks like she might be interesting. bobby jon the waiter/aspiring model who moved to la to pursue his dream a couple years ago looks like he could be cute, just not in this picture. i really don't like caryn the lawyer's smile. gregg the oaf, i mean consultant looks like an oaf, i mean oaf. i anticipate him to be annoying, but you kno what they say about covers of books. what a goofy-looking motherfucker, this ian the dolphin trainer. he looks like the kind-hearted version of the evil jonny fairplay from pearl islands. please don't eat my children, jeff the personal trainer! oh my god, a person of color, how'd she sneak onto the island? okay, to be fair, jolanda the lawyer isn't the only one. there's also the might-be-queer waiter ibrehem, and the strangely greek looking cuban showgirl janu. and stephenie the drug dealer. oh wait, no, she's just really really tan. it happens when you live in philly. okay, i dunno why i kid about the lack of racial diversity, it's not like it's usually an all-white cast. i think i'm just bitter there hasn't been an awesome asian since shii ann (lame-o daniel was not awesome). like chad from vanuatu, we have another cancer survivor, jonathan the fighting sushi chef. of course, chad's missing leg didn't particularly hinder his ability to perform the challenges, and neither will jonathan's missing bits (probably). who am i rooting for? i kno you're gonna guess willard the lawyer (jesus, how many lawyers are on this show?), just cuz he's from bellevue, but did you take into account the fact that he was old and creepy-looking? no, you didn't, did you. based on looks alone, i'm rooting for probst. i'm excited to see what sorts of funny nicknames these people are given. i kno it won't be as exciting as pearl islands, but last season, we had such hits as "bubba," "sarge" and "twitchy bug-eyed rat-looking bitch." finally, how many men do you kno named wanda? well, add another to the list.

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