what can i do

last nite, i went to a nan quan mama autograph-signing event at the gongguan rose records, like the 12 year old girl i am. i was disappointed that i missed their free show at ximen last week, so i had to take this opportunity to see them up close. the channel v pop music concert just wasn't enuf. plus, back then, i had no idea who they were. thus, armed with the cd booklet, i set off with a friend to gongguan.

when we got there, there wasn't really much of a line, unlike the event yesterday at the same location for boyband 5566 (i think all the little girls in all of taipei showed up for that one). hopefully, this was because of the fact that this was nan quan mama's fourth of five stops around taipei city, and not because people don't love them, cuz people should love them; they're great. they arrived unceremoniously a little after 7 in a small gray van. after they got situated, they started letting people in, so we all slowly filed into the little shop and gave them whatever nan quan mama materials we had for them to sign. when i got up to the front, i couldn't help but grin like an idiot. what does one say to pop stars as one is whisked quickly by them as they sign their name for the 1000th time? do i tell them that i really liked their cd? how many times had they already heard that? do i tell lara she's too cute, and dantou that i think he's cool? plus, how does one convey these things in chinese without sounding stupid? i had no idea. i just said thank you and smiled as zhang jie and dantou finished signing their names. all of them looked absolutely exhausted from their day that started at 1, but when i got to yuhao, he pointed to my hair and was like "you have very cool hair." tee hee! after lara finished signing my booklet, i grinned and waved a goodbye to her. she's so adorable.

and then it was over...

they have these sorts of events every weekend, so i wonder who'll be in town next week.

a little too funky

so on the nite previous, i made me first foray into gay taipei; i visited the club known as funky. the boutique-owner i asked about places to have fun in the area said that this is the main one that everyone goes to, so i figured i had to go at least once.

when we got to the intersection of zhongxiao east and hangzhou south after midnite, it was already apparent we were in the rite area. the sidewalks surrounding funky were occupied with a multitude of gay men, sitting and standing around, cruising, smoking and drinking. why were they doing that outside, you might ask. well, we found out why after we went in. the place is packed fucking beyond full. there is really no room to reasonably move around or even breathe in there, and to get from point a to point b, you have to squeeze between too many sweaty men. it seemed pretty much like all the gay men in taipei were there.

the music they played were basically just pop hits from the charts of taiwan, but "remixed," that is they were sped up two or three times over, which is really unnecessary on some songs, cuz they're already really fast. the drinks were good and strong, tho the bar was far from full. also, to order a drink, you had to go to the door and pay the cashier, who would then give you a ticket with which to take to the bartender in exchange for whatever you ordered. why? no clue. it was like going to a food court in mainland china.

the crowd was mostly taiwanese locals with a few smatterings of (old) white foreigners, but i did run into a schoolmate i had not previously talked to while there, answering my question of whether or not there had been another gay guy doing the program i did. i think most of the people there were in their 20s, but there was a good number of older men too. the percentage of attractive men was just about the same as any club i've been to... low, but some of the boys were truly very cute.

overall, it was pretty fun. we both got pretty trashed, tho one more so than the other. i dunno if i'd want to go back again during this visit to the island, but i'm definitely glad i went.

i don't eat stinky tofu

because it smells like poo.

the longest 15-minute bus ride

oh my god, what the fuck. typhoons really suck. even tho those two sentences rhymed, they are still completely true. when school was going on, it was alrite, cuz we got days off, but now that there is no school, it seems like an awful waste of a day. then, i was fine with staying home and doing nothing for an entire day. determined not to let talim ruin my wednesday, i set off into the city. the way there wasn't so bad, but...

the traffic on the way home was absolutely horrible! fuck you talim! we literally moved a meter every five minutes (hey, look i'm using the metric system!), and if you kno the buses of taipei, they can't brake normally. no matter how fast we are going or how little distance we've traveled, when the bus driver brakes, he makes all the contents of the bus lurch forward, like the passengers and my just-full stomach. i felt so fucking sick after the bus ride. bleh! but really, that was a combination of the constant braking and the sight of the really gross-looking guy sitting in front of me. he literally looked like he was wearing a set of very ill-fitting skin, kinda like buffalo bill from silence of the lambs, but even nastier. i dunno if it was a disease or if he had been horribly disfigured in some accident, but i wanted none of it. not only that, he kept running his hands thru his ugly hair, as if he was trying to poof it up, over and over and over again, and it didn't do anything, and then he'd pat it down and start all over again. it was driving me crazy, and i wanted to tell him to stop, but i didn't want him to spread his skin disease onto me.

however, the most exciting part of the ride was when our bus was trying to change lanes in front of another bus. the driver of the other bus started honking cuz it looked like our bus was going to scrape up against it, so i turned to look to see if we would make it. we didn't. our bus went up against the other bus and crushed its rite side mirror. at this, the other bus driver became enraged and did what any furious bus driver would do: hold his hand on the horn to create an annoying and continuous honk. our bus driver opened up the back door and stormed out and began yelling at the other bus driver, who also yelled back. this exchange went on for a good ten minutes or so, but i couldn't understand any of it, cuz it was all in taiwanese. it was so heated at one point, i thot the other bus driver would get out of his bus and there'd be a hand-to-hand between driver of route 648 and driver of route 905. imagine if 648 called all the other 648 drivers and 905 called up his posse. there would have been some serious trouble. as it was, after they were done arguing, our bus driver closed the door and drove away as quickly as possible. either he was afraid of 905, or he was afraid of the angry honking drivers behind the buses who were on the verge of forming a mob and maul 648. just kidding, taiwanese people love to watch a good fight. they were captivated and didn't realize their way was blocked by two buses.

in the end, the entire bus ride took just over an hour. keep in mind, it's usually a 15-minute bus ride. it's a good thing i brot a good cd to listen to. or i could have died. really.

dirty old drunks

so on the train home today, this unusually stumbly guy got on. he wasn't entirely red like a lobster, so i didn't immediately assume he was drunk, but i should have, cuz he was. at first, i watched him "accidentally" run into a girl while the train lurched to a stop, and then a guy pulling him away and giving him a stern "stop it" look. at first, i thot they all knew each other, but soon realized that they didn't, when the girl went to another portion of the subway car and the stern look guy's girlfriend told him not to get involved. he started making gestures at a young couple (they must have been in highschool) and then trying to push them together. i think he was trying to make his own amateur porn? i dunno, but he was really creeping me out, and i could tell my friend was feeling the same. luckily for my friend, he got off the subway pretty early on.

what made it all worse was when mr. drunk started glancing over at me. i tried to avoid eye contact and pretend i didn't see him, but he started tapping me and trying to pull me towards him. i was like "what are you doing?" to him, but that only elicited more from him. he started pointing at a girl near the door and tried to push me toward her. i backed away and looking for support, turned to the guy next to me, who said to me, "he's drunk." to which i responded, "i know." really? was he drunk?

not wanting to deal with him anymore, i moved to another subway car. by that time, someone had alerted the security and a security guy came by to handle him. i didn't kno what happened exactly, but i think he made the drunk guy sit down until the next stop, after which he escorted him off the train. it was all-in-all a very uncomfortable situation, but at least he didn't kill me. rite?