Monday, June 25, 2007

another story from the closet

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Previously on... Stories from the Closet.

Welcome to another installment of our favorite 12-year-long series of awkward, telling exchanges between a mother and her closeted gay son. This time my mother will be played by Suri Cruise (Adorable!), and I will be played by Evandro Soldati (Hot!). Let's set the scene for what may in fact be our series finale:

It is Pride weekend. Friday night, I left the house at 10pm, and didn't get back until 8am. Then, I was gone for most of Saturday (after a quick nap), and didn't get back until 6am. I slept for 3 hours, and then headed out at 10am on Sunday. After leaving a message on my phone telling me not to stay out too late a few hours earlier, I receive a phone call from my mother at 10pm that night:

Mom, angry: "Where have you been?"

Me, annoyed: "Out with friends."

Mom, still angry: "You're always out with friends. I don't even know who these friends are. You've been gone all weekend."

Me, still annoyed: "I don't understand why you have to know who all my friends are. It's not like you will remember any of them."

Mom, angry, but also a little distressed: "And I never know what you're doing anymore! You came home at 4 or 5 last night."

Me: "Why do you have to know that either?"

Mom: "Don't you know I worry about you?"

Me: "Why do you have to worry?"

Mom: "Because you're out all the time, and you never think about the future. I don't even know what you're going to do with your life. I hardly even know who you are anymore."

Me: "I am not out all the time. It's only been a couple days just this weekend. There's no point in worrying."

Mom: "How can I not worry? I'm your mother!"

Me: "I don't know what you want me to tell you."

There is a long pause. Neither of us says anything

Mom, her voice beginning to break up: "Do you know the nightmare I've been having all weekend? I keep having this nightmare that you're going to come home one day and tell me you're gay!"

My mom begins to sob, but I have nothing to say to this. What am I supposed to say? I can't say the one thing she wants to hear, though she can't honestly expect to hear it.

Mom, through tears: "I'm sorry."

Me: "For what?"

There are a few heaving breaths and then she hangs up.


Anonymous said...

Oh this post(and the other closet stories) saddens me... Please don't hate my comment but though I sympathize with you, I'm sorry for your mother and could somewhat empathize with her.

Andy said...

It's sad that my mother feels that way, but if she wants a relationship with her son, then she needs to get over it. That attitude is why so many gay teens kill themselves, and why gay people don't have the same basic rights afforded to the rest of the population. She's supposed to love me, and love means supporting me whoever I am.

Anonymous said...

You know what, you're right. I'm truly sorry if it seems like I implied that ' of course she feels sad, becoz...' That's really not it.

I'm sure she loves you so much, otherwise she wouldn't cry like that. She's just rather old (maybe) and comes from older world. Probably you should give her the chance to actually get over it, by telling her the truth directly (I know, easier said than done).

Anyway I wish things will work out fine for you and your mother.