Wednesday, August 31, 2005

the longest 15-minute bus ride

oh my god, what the fuck. typhoons really suck. even tho those two sentences rhymed, they are still completely true. when school was going on, it was alrite, cuz we got days off, but now that there is no school, it seems like an awful waste of a day. then, i was fine with staying home and doing nothing for an entire day. determined not to let talim ruin my wednesday, i set off into the city. the way there wasn't so bad, but...

the traffic on the way home was absolutely horrible! fuck you talim! we literally moved a meter every five minutes (hey, look i'm using the metric system!), and if you kno the buses of taipei, they can't brake normally. no matter how fast we are going or how little distance we've traveled, when the bus driver brakes, he makes all the contents of the bus lurch forward, like the passengers and my just-full stomach. i felt so fucking sick after the bus ride. bleh! but really, that was a combination of the constant braking and the sight of the really gross-looking guy sitting in front of me. he literally looked like he was wearing a set of very ill-fitting skin, kinda like buffalo bill from silence of the lambs, but even nastier. i dunno if it was a disease or if he had been horribly disfigured in some accident, but i wanted none of it. not only that, he kept running his hands thru his ugly hair, as if he was trying to poof it up, over and over and over again, and it didn't do anything, and then he'd pat it down and start all over again. it was driving me crazy, and i wanted to tell him to stop, but i didn't want him to spread his skin disease onto me.

however, the most exciting part of the ride was when our bus was trying to change lanes in front of another bus. the driver of the other bus started honking cuz it looked like our bus was going to scrape up against it, so i turned to look to see if we would make it. we didn't. our bus went up against the other bus and crushed its rite side mirror. at this, the other bus driver became enraged and did what any furious bus driver would do: hold his hand on the horn to create an annoying and continuous honk. our bus driver opened up the back door and stormed out and began yelling at the other bus driver, who also yelled back. this exchange went on for a good ten minutes or so, but i couldn't understand any of it, cuz it was all in taiwanese. it was so heated at one point, i thot the other bus driver would get out of his bus and there'd be a hand-to-hand between driver of route 648 and driver of route 905. imagine if 648 called all the other 648 drivers and 905 called up his posse. there would have been some serious trouble. as it was, after they were done arguing, our bus driver closed the door and drove away as quickly as possible. either he was afraid of 905, or he was afraid of the angry honking drivers behind the buses who were on the verge of forming a mob and maul 648. just kidding, taiwanese people love to watch a good fight. they were captivated and didn't realize their way was blocked by two buses.

in the end, the entire bus ride took just over an hour. keep in mind, it's usually a 15-minute bus ride. it's a good thing i brot a good cd to listen to. or i could have died. really.

Sunday, August 28, 2005

dirty old drunks

so on the train home today, this unusually stumbly guy got on. he wasn't entirely red like a lobster, so i didn't immediately assume he was drunk, but i should have, cuz he was. at first, i watched him "accidentally" run into a girl while the train lurched to a stop, and then a guy pulling him away and giving him a stern "stop it" look. at first, i thot they all knew each other, but soon realized that they didn't, when the girl went to another portion of the subway car and the stern look guy's girlfriend told him not to get involved. he started making gestures at a young couple (they must have been in highschool) and then trying to push them together. i think he was trying to make his own amateur porn? i dunno, but he was really creeping me out, and i could tell my friend was feeling the same. luckily for my friend, he got off the subway pretty early on.

what made it all worse was when mr. drunk started glancing over at me. i tried to avoid eye contact and pretend i didn't see him, but he started tapping me and trying to pull me towards him. i was like "what are you doing?" to him, but that only elicited more from him. he started pointing at a girl near the door and tried to push me toward her. i backed away and looking for support, turned to the guy next to me, who said to me, "he's drunk." to which i responded, "i know." really? was he drunk?

not wanting to deal with him anymore, i moved to another subway car. by that time, someone had alerted the security and a security guy came by to handle him. i didn't kno what happened exactly, but i think he made the drunk guy sit down until the next stop, after which he escorted him off the train. it was all-in-all a very uncomfortable situation, but at least he didn't kill me. rite?

Saturday, August 27, 2005

hello and goodbye

this week has been a lot of fun, even tho it stinks to have to say goodbye to people. it was the last few day of classes (our final was even cancelled, a goodbye present from our teacher?) and we kicked it as much as possible before people had a chance to leave.

i'm definitely going to miss this...

Sunday, August 21, 2005

c-pop overload

of course, i just got back from a pop music festival thrown by channel v (the local music video channel that's not mtv), and i had to tell someone about it.

but first, before i got there, i went to zhongxiao east road in search of someone to cut my hair. i actually just picked the first salon i saw that looked halfway decent. it was like $190nt for a hairwash and $450nt for a cut (a combined cost of about $20us), which sounded like a splendid price for a haircut at a fancy-looking salon in dongqu. i told her what i wanted, and she did what she wanted, and i ended up with a decent haircut, but definitely not the one i asked for. i would have stopped her had i noticed she'd taken so much off the top, but she was talking my ear off about her kid in malaysia. i didn't really care about what she had to say, but i was afraid that if i said so, she would stab me with the sharp object in her hand. all in all, i guess i was happy with it. afterwards, i headed to the city hall area where the concert was being held.

by the time i got there, it was raining like bitches and meows. i was not excited at the prospect of having to stand out in the rain while the concert was going on, but i figured when's the next time i'll see yuan wei juexing live? the concert was scheduled to "begin" at 7pm, so i got there at 630, and saw that it was already full of the typical crowd of high-school-aged-and-younger kids that usually come to these things. it looked like there was a line to get into a sectioned off middle area in front of the stage, so, already wet from the rain (yes, i was carrying an umbrella, but in rains this hard they don't work very well) i stood in line and waited.

and i waited a really long time. a little after 7, they finally let people into the middle, but the line was useless. everyone just crowded to the front and squeezed their way in. honestly, i don't think i could have not gone in, since everyone behind me was pushing me that way. of course, after we were all in there, we had to wait another hour during which they repeatedly played channel v commercials (the same commercials) on all the video screens on stage. i didn't really want to watch them the first time (except for the part in blackie's show where yuanwei juexing's jay and wesley kissed, that was kinda fun), and to have them battering us with them for so long, i almost went crazy.

but that was nothing compared to when it looked like they were about to start, but instead, the nite's primary sponsor, le tea, got a bunch of ribbon dancers (of both sexes) dressed in pink to come and do a too-long twirl for us. what the fuck? why can't they just start the goddamned thing? at this point, we'd all been standing in the rain for hours. granted, the rain finally stopped, but we were all still soaked (my shoes were filled with water, and they will never be the same after tonite). after the dancers, and some more commercials (free concert, my ass), the thing finally started.

first, the channel v vjs all came out and talked for a little bit, which was fun, cuz some of them are just as famous as (or more so than) the performers at the concert. we got to see them all on stage at once, and before the concert really started, the mayor of taipei (and newly elected chairman of the nationalist party) ma yingjiu came out and welcomed us too. awww, what a nice guy! intermittently thruout the concert (during commercial breaks for the tv recording), the vjs came out a little closer in the crowd to throw free stuff like pens and stationary at people to keep us from rushing the stage and tearing it apart. the above pictures are from left to rite: first. the channel v vjs and the mayor of taipei; second. vj henry, jiayi, and jason; third. xiaoxiang the gay newsman (i don't kno if he's actually gay, but his listed favorite movie in his profile is formula 17, and that's pretty gay), rongjia, and vj henry again; fourth. jason again with blackie.

before i go on, look at the massive stage! there were a lot of performers. most of them played two or three songs, except for the more popular people/groups. the caesars played what felt like a full set, which is fine, except i don't think most of the audience knew any of their songs except that one ipod one. it is unfortunate that many of the singers came down with a bad case of lipsynchitis, but what are you gonna do, rite? but on with the pop stars!

first, it was stanley huang. i didn't really kno of stanley all that well, except i'd heard his song "who's your daddy?" at some point. he used to be in a boyband with his brother and his cousin way back in the 90s called "l.a. boyz". his brother's now in "hip-hop" group machi, and his cousin... i dunno, i think i saw him on a talk show or something as a guest. don't kno why tho. he was a decent performer, but i didn't really come here to see him, so i wasn't unhappy when he was done. vivian hsu was next. i wasn't really familiar with much of her music, but i'd heard all the songs she sang before (like "vicious love," you kno the one, "say, say, say you love me! bugu yiqie, henhen ai!"). i just didn't kno that she was the one who sang them. she was really pretty, but she's also a dirty white slut. i think i heard that she used to do soft porn, but i haven't had the motivation to go find any of it. her cd cover's already pretty naked tho. she's already 30, which means that her star as a female vocalist should be fading soon. it sucks, but not everyone can be faye wong. then came the caesars with their unusually long set. they played at least 3 times as many songs as any of the others, and they were probably the least well-known. i guess if you're gonna come to taiwan from sweden, you'd make the most out of it and perform for as long as possible. i didn't really give their cd a good listen when i was in the states, so i didn't kno most of their songs. that ipod song ("jerk it out") was good tho.

the first of the boybands (tho that term can be rather ambiguous in the mando-pop scene) was k-one. i don't like boybands. i didn't like k-one. and neither did most of the people who were standing around me, cuz they were all heckling them like high schoolers often do. one of them was kinda cute tho (the one in the middle in the picture, j.r.). moving on, the cutesy girl duo sweety did a couple songs. i don't like sweety that much either. their gimmick when they first came out was that they were like 15 or something. but that was a few years ago, and they're no longer little girls, so now they're just another girl duo who used to have a gimmick.

nan quan mama came afterwards! to be honest, i don't kno their music all that well, but since they're the band that jay chou helped create, they can't be bad, rite? i really liked their music, and i think i'm going to go get their cd. then finally, it was yuan wei juexing. i don't think their music is all that (it is super catchy tho, with great song titles like "happiness download," "bikini," and "how are u?"), but i think they're adorable, especially jay. i'm a sucker for white jackets too. he was doing everything rite. too bad i missed their beach concert and any signing events they might have had; i would really like to get up close to them. ba ha ha ha... well, it just kept getting better, cuz alive was next. i kno i said i didn't like boybands just a second ago, but this is daniel wu's boyband! you kno daniel wu. he's the hottie from gen-x cops, bishounen, and most recently new police story. i've had a celebrity crush on him since i saw gen-x cops some five years ago! well, i just about died. but it's a good thing i didn't, cuz i ended up taking a lot of pictures. his bandmate and costar in new police story, terence yin is hot too (you might have seen him in tomb raider 2. i didn't cuz i didn't watch that movie). abc pride, yo! if you wanna hear what their music sounds like, i think you can download it off of their site, along with their music videos. they're really not very good, but you're allowed to do whatever you want.

cyndi wang was next. this is the girl with the ultra-catchy (and ultra-annoying because they're so catchy) songs "da da da" and "baby baby tell me," both of which she unleashed upon the audience. she did her silly dances too. anyways, moving on, wilber pan was next. i kno he goes by "will" now, but i'm going to call him wilber still. i don't like wilber very much. i kno i just wrote "abc pride, yo!" a couple lines previous, but wilber annoys me for some reason. he used to be a vj on channel v (he was when i met him years ago), but then he decided he wanted to do music, so he became a musician. anyways, he performed his ubiquitous "can't help but love" ("bu de bu ai") without the girl that he usually does the duet with, opting instead to use a recording of her singing. we think she wasn't there cuz she fucked up so badly at his other performance a week ago.

korean pop star se7en came after. he was pretty good, but i can't say i'd ever heard of him before. by this time, i was so tired, i just wanted to see jolin and go home. but first, i had to go thru the other boyband (performing. make no mistake, there are more than two boybands in the whole of mando-pop) 5566. they suck like k-one, except k-one didn't do a riverdance-inspired jig for one of their songs. but one of the members was pretty hot, again, the one in the center, jason. he didn't look like he was having much fun, but i wouldn't be either if i had to spend much time with those other jerks. finally, jolin tsai showed up and did a few songs. i'm really pretty ambivalent about her, but since she's so popular, i wanted to see why. to be honest, i don't really kno why. is it cuz she can dance better than your average pop star or what? it looked to me like she had no personality whatsoever. she was like a robot who said what she was programmed to say and nothing else, never showing much emotion. i'm saying there wasn't life in her eyes! no wonder she's on bad terms with jay; he must have found out she was a pop music robot!

with the concert over at midnite, i had been wet for a good six hours, five hours of which my shoes were full of water. after i got back home and took off my shoes, my feet looked like they belonged to a corpse. it was gross. anyhow, i had a lot of fun, even tho it was a physically trying experience. i was a little sad i wasn't able to meet up with a couple friends, but they were on the other side of the partition and there was no easy way across it. at any rate, another c-pop concert under the belt.

Friday, August 19, 2005

all you can puke

last nite, i went to this all-you-can-drink nite at some trashy club (called vs, i think), and that was such a bad idea. not because i had a hangover in the morning (cuz really, when don't i have a hangover in the morning), but because no one else there seemed to be able to control their drink intake. the locals were throwing up left and rite, and the men's bathroom was a complete and utter mess. will i never go to an all-you-can-drink again? of course not, but i still don't think it's a good idea.

Sunday, August 14, 2005

i can't help but...

i went ktving for the first time since coming back to taipei for a classmate's birthday, tho i think we had more fun than her. she ditched out on us to go see wilber pan perform live in ximen ding.

it was another classmate's last day, so we went out to room 18 for some fun. honestly, i don't remember much of the nite, except all the shots i took of various mystery liquids of many colors. afterwards, i think we went to swensen's, and i think i got bacon and eggs. there might also have been hash browns. i also remember heading back home (home being the hotel) a little bit after daybreak. when i woke up, i discovered i'd also stolen salt and pepper shakers. you can't find enuf uses for those little things. i think we all had fun. i miss hanging out with her already.

Friday, August 12, 2005

so this is what my room looks like

i think i will be leaving my liver here, and just get a new one at the market after i get back.

Sunday, August 07, 2005

adventures at the lava bar

friday nite, we checked out the lava bar, which, like room 18, was in the neo19 building. it was pretty nice, but the music wasn't as good as 18, and there weren't quite as many people there. after several jack and cokes, the nite becomes a little hazy, but i was told i grabbed too many girls' asses and almost got into a fight. well, whatever. it's all in good fun, rite? i do remember someone breaking my umbrella tho... "you don't knooo!"

the day after, i spent some time with a classmate and his friend with a heavy hangover and went shopping at the various malls and department stores in taipei. in the warner village area, we managed to see huang yida and thousands of little fangirls, while he was there for a signing event. afterwards, some pop star girl whose name i don't remember was also there for a short performance, all to promote some online computer game. after that i went home for a desperately-needed rest.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

oops, i fell over again

last nite i went to a classmate's boyfriend's hotel suite to party. the last thing i remember is sitting on the couch with my beer after a couple shots of jack.

then i woke up in another hotel room. feeling a certain sense of responsibility, i went to school with a hangover even tho i had apparently told everyone that i wasn't going. i had also drunk dialed someone. i'm not quite sure what else happened last nite, but i was told i may have done something i shouldn't have...

in other news, i mourned the loss of my four-year-old locals, with which i had been around the world. i left them for some reason at the suite, and i'm pretty sure i'll never see them ever again. so goes life.